Finding Balance: How Pendulation Supports Nervous System Regulation

Stress affects us all differently. Some days, we can navigate challenges effortlessly, while on other days, even minor stressors feel like too much. This difference often comes down to how well our nervous system can regulate. A helpful tool for strengthening this regulation is a practice called pendulation.

Pendulation is the process of gently moving between states of safety (where we feel calm) and defensive states (where we may feel anxiety, discomfort, or stress). It's not about getting rid of uncomfortable emotions but rather allowing them to coexist with a sense of safety.

This practice helps us increase our window of tolerance—our ability to handle stress and discomfort without becoming overwhelmed. By giving our body and mind the chance to move between safety and mild discomfort, we release stored flight/fight energy and improve our capacity to manage future stressors.

However, it’s important to note that pendulation is a gentle practice. The goal isn’t to dive into extreme discomfort but rather to stay with a tolerable level of stress while remaining anchored in a feeling of safety.

How to Practice Pendulation

Let’s walk through a simple three-step process that you can try:

Step 1: Anchor in Safety

Start by thinking about a moment that brought you a sense of comfort or safety. It could be something recent, like getting a relaxing massage or being in nature. Or perhaps, it’s an image or memory that gives you peace, like a cozy room.

As you recall this moment:
• Can you give this experience an emotion (e.g., joy, calm, peace)?
• Track your body: What sensations arise? (For example, do you notice your breath deepening or your shoulders relaxing?)

Step 2: Imagine a Tolerable Level of Discomfort

Now, shift to thinking about a moment that brought you mild discomfort—something tolerable, but not overwhelming. This could be a recent stressor, like running late or receiving disappointing news.

As you think about this moment:
• Can you name an emotion that arises?
• Bring awareness to your body again: Do you notice any changes (e.g. heart racing, muscle tension, or a change in your breath)? On a scale from 0 to 10, what’s the intensity of the discomfort you’re feeling?

Step 3: Pendulate Between Safety and Discomfort

Now, return your attention to the pleasant moment you recalled earlier. Take a few moments to track any internal shifts. What’s happening in your body? Has anything changed—perhaps your breath feels lighter, or your muscles more relaxed?

Then, revisit the moment of discomfort. Has the intensity changed? Has it gone up, down, or stayed the same?

After going back and forth a few times between the pleasant and uncomfortable moments, notice how your body feels, and gently stop the exercise. The goal is to move between these states without overwhelming yourself, creating a safe space for both comfort and discomfort to exist.

Key Takeaway

Pendulation is a practice that helps us coexist with discomfort while staying anchored in safety. By gently moving between calm and manageable stress, we enhance our ability to handle challenging emotions without becoming overwhelmed, building emotional resilience.